Pain is so complicated and such a “touchy” subject. In this video I go through it in a very mixed way but I think pain needs to be separated into 2 categories.

But before I speak about those 2 categories, I think that a distinction should also be explained between pain and suffering because they are both the same and yet totally different things as well. We can all experience pain without going through the hell of suffering. But, suffering without pain isn’t possible. Suffering is the negative and destructive part that pain can produce and literally sucks life out of a person.

I simply talk about pain in general without going more in depth between the 2 distinctions. But you will probably understand that I am most of time addressing the case of suffering induced by the pain.

So, let’s check out those 2 categories

Physical pain

The first category of pain that I would describe is the physical aspect of pain: Surgeries, the rheumatism, acute pain, deep pain, chronic or constant pain, pain intensity, needles, shots and so on…

All of this just constantly keeps you out of respite, comfort and rest. It is like you are always trying to physically adjust to it, manage it or get rid of it. It becomes exhausting when it keeps on going on and every one of us handles it in a different way… It can drain you, and I personally need a lot of rest, every single day because of its presence most of the day (even if it’s very little pain).

But pain can also affect your soul and this is where the second category comes into the picture: the emotional and mental struggles.

The pain of the soul

The pain of the soul, or emotions and thoughts is probably the closest part to the suffering aspect, because it can tear you down all together, body and soul. I spoke about many things that pain can produce in this video…

Wether physical or emotional, depression, hopelessness, desperation, loneliness, fear, anxiety, anger, bitterness are all “suffering” responses and for some, dysfunctional ones, that can grow in pain’s soil…

The pain that isolated me was mainly due to the physical impossibility to participate in many activities with others on one hand, but also because others just couldn’t understand the reality of living with constant restraints and physical pain. So first of all, I was prevented by my body to participate, but on top of that, I was the only one experiencing it. This produced the mental and emotional pain (or suffering) of isolation and oftentimes loneliness. I was alone in this situation and no one could understand because they didn’t live it, or at least that’s what I felt. Feelings don’t always tell the truth.

When it comes to jealousy and resentment, and ultimately bitterness, these started growing in me when intense and long lasting physical and emotional pain were present. At some point, you can’t help but comparing or envying other’s lives that seem so easy and perfect while yours is a hell, trying to survive 1 second at a time (which is a form of covetousness and that does NOT please God!). This heart condition is very ugly but it’s the truth and since this was a trap that pain brought, I had to ask God to help me out of this pit. These are very powerful emotions and need to be recognized in oneself and confronted with truth, love and repentance. Otherwise, we can get stuck in a “victim cycle” that will feed itself on the long run and will pull you even further down and also push good people away…

Pain can lock you up in bubble where everything you see and live manifest through the lens of its presence. This is probably the reason that develops the “selfish or self-centered” behavior, because you don’t see anything else but you and the pain and you can lose sight of the people around you, too. It could also literally drive you crazy and coping mechanisms are vast to try to reduce or escape from it! One of mine was that I started locking myself away from some good people …

It’s hard to be confronted by others in these moments to the dysfunctional responses, but I think that there are gentle steps we can take to start healing. The first is to be legitimized in our experience; pain is horrible and it’s important to feel it and recognize it and talk about it to people we trust and who are able to listen (and God!). And then, I believe it’s important to mourn; mourn the things that happened, that didn’t happen and so on. I also think it’s important to decide to heal from its trauma without the poison of revenge and the other dysfunctional responses it could produce. Finally … let Love in! Let people love you at your worst, and let God love you in your mess! …

There are many more steps that can occur in the healing and sometimes, we have to start over again many times, but that’s okay.

I know this could seem easy to read but please hear me out: I went through this and asked God to heal my pain. It was, and still is a long process that humbles me, but boy is it worth the work! I can tell you, there is NO thing that can compare to the peace and sense of rest and fulness that only God was able to put in my heart when I accepted to walk out the healing process of the damage.

As a believer, I can only testify of how Jesus helped me out of this and that He was the only one (with the constant support of my amazing family and friends as well) who was able to do something with my soul. We can self-medicate all we want, we can run after things all we want, or run away from the pain (denial is one response to this), ultimately the only person who was able to heal me was God. I needed a lot of love, a perseverant and constant love, patience, a lot of confrontation to truth that can hurt too, and lots of Grace. He washed out the pain, and still does today when needed. I will speak about the power of Love and Truth in other videos so continue to stay tuned ;)

So … Talk about the pain. Don’t keep it in. But please, don’t feed it any longer either, dare to confront it in love and let’s make that decision to keep a kind heart, a soft heart, a peaceful and gentle heart. Don’t isolate and lock yourself away. Please decide to talk about it and dare to trust a few people and God (!) with your pain and the truth.

As a believer, I want to encourage you to seek Jesus. I know we want instant results and relief, and I know that many don’t want anything to do with God. But trust me, when everything else fails, He will always be there and ready to help and love you toward healing…He’s the only one who was able to heal me.

So mush more could be said, but I will stop here.

I love you guys! You are not alone.

Keep your hope, it will get better!

Mel